Have had the funniest enquiry ever today.
An old lady called me in much distress because she had posted a woodlouse to the boss to be identified and upon phoning to see whether he has received said parcel, she discovered that he is away at the moment. I then had to field a phone call from said lady, who was desperate about her poor woodlouse, as it might have been suffocating in the envelope. In order to placate the lady I got her to describe the parcel and promised very faithfully to rescue the woodlouse from said package if it had arrived. I decided against doing the whole 'its a tiny thing, how much air do you think it needs?' conversation. It was all just too much effort.
Anyway, I had to sit through a lengthy discourse on said woodlouse, about how fond the lady is of it, how she thought it was a peculiar albino one, how she had been ill and thus been keeping it at home for the last 11 days until she could post it off. I gave many reassurances on keeping it alive and not murdering it wantonly as entomologists are wont to do.
After managing to extract myself from the conversation, I gently replaced the receiver, wiped the sweat from my brow and pottered through to find the parcel. I opened it up and gently extracted the contents.
One letter - check
One pill box - check
contents of pill box, one dead woodlouse - check
I don't know what it was that made me think that said woodlouse would be dead but dead it was. I think it was the way in which the lady had gone on about how fond she was of it. I just KNEW it would be dead- that's just my luck.